


Reckless and Unsettled

by parappa_maxwell



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abuse, Bill Cipher Being Bill Cipher, Bill Cipher is a Jerk, Child Abuse, Crying, Demonic Possession, Depressing, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father Figures, Hearing Voices, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Breakdown, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Platonic Relationships, Poor Dipper, Self-Esteem Issues, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 10:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parappa_maxwell/pseuds/parappa_maxwell
Summary: **THIS TAKES PLACE BEFORE THE EVENTS OF WEIRDMAGGEDON**“You are very brave, there are people who can’t just stop like that. I'm glad you did. Don’t ever do that again, I hate to see you hurting. We’re gonna figure out how to stop Bill so you can stop hurting all together. No more nightmares, no more cuts, bruises, or even scrapes, no more crying in the early hours of the morning, no more shaky hands, just you and me, Mystery Twins™ forever!”





	1. 1

It was 2 a.m, and Dipper was having one of the worst nightmares he had ever experienced. He had been having horrible dreams about Bill for the past week. Dipper knew that they weren’t just dreams and that Bill really was inside his head, but he couldn't tell anyone. Ever since Mabel’s puppet show, Bill had had access to Dipper’s body. Bill told Dipper that if he ever told anyone about Bill being inside of his head, he would use that access to destroy everything and _everyone_ that Dipper cared about. So Dipper continued to have nightmares, and Bill continued to make life hell for him.

 

Not only would Bill terrorized Dippers dreams, but he would also use Dippers body to do various things while Dipper was asleep. He would do things to get Dipper in trouble, like trash the kitchen, or take a knife to the wall, but his favourite thing to do by far was to cause Dipper physical harm. Dipper would wake up with the strangest injuries, three forks in his arm, a carving of a triangle on his chest, or random bruises on his stomach that kind of looked like a pine tree from the right angle.

 

As a result, Dipper could no longer wear short sleeves, or do anything that involved taking his shirt off (good-bye swimming). He traded out his blue vest for a black hooded, sweatshirt (which he left unzipped), and he replaced his orange t-shirt with a white long sleeve shirt (just in case he had to take his sweater off). At some point, he started wearing grey jeans with rips in the knees. He looked so monochromatic he might as well have started wearing eyeliner and listening to alternative rock, but Robbie was already doing that, and Dipper did _not_ want to end up like Robbie.

 

It was now 2:07 a.m and Dipper woke up with a start. His right arm hurt terribly.

 

_“Alright, time to check the damage.”_

 

He thought to himself. He sat up, lifted his arm in front of his face and rolled up his sleeve. Bill had carved _“Pain is hilarious!”_ into Dipper’s arm with something sharp. Dipper pulled his sleeve down harshly, which he soon regretted doing because it hurt quite a bit. Dipper’s eyebrows furrowed, it made him so furious that Bill was doing this to him and he couldn’t do anything about it. Dipper’s vision went blurry and he felt hot tears running down his cheeks as he took in sharp breaths.

 

_“Nononono, quite down you idiot you're going to wake someone.”_

 

Too late, he heard shifting in the bed across the room as Mabel sat up. Dipper wiped his eyes and held his breath, his sleeve was bloody, he had to hide that. He quickly pulled the blanket around him like an igloo, covering everything but his face, and his legs, which were hanging off the bed.

 

“Dipper?”

 

Mabel called into the darkness, Dipper could see her silhouette in the pale moonlight. He didn't respond.

 

“Dipper I can see you sitting up, I know you're awake. Why were you crying, what's up?”

 

_“Bill is giving me nightmares and possessing me in my sleep so he can hurt me but I can’t tell you because he’ll kill you and Grunkle Stan and Wendy and everyone else if I do.”_

 

Dipper sniffled. He couldn’t really say all that to Mabel, not unless he wanted her dead (which he didn't).

 

“Nothing. Go back to bed Mabel.”

 

“Aw, don't be silly Dipper, we’re twins, which means we have telepathy and psychic powers! So are you gonna tell me or am I gonna have to use my twin powers to read your mind?”

 

Dipper was silent.

 

“Alright, you leave me no choice.”

 

Mabel got up and shuffled over to Dipper. She put two fingers on her temple, and used her other hand to put two fingers on Dipper’s temple. She then proceeded to make sounds with her mouth, the kind one would make when engaging in an imaginary sword fight, or when blowing things up with imaginary explosives.

 

Dipper sighed.

 

“Mabel, stop, there’s no such thing as twin powers.”

 

“Of course there is. Have you seen us together? Whatever the challenge we always pull through, whether my boyfriend turns out to be a bunch of evil gnomes who want to marry me or an insane triangle guy possesses you at my puppet show. We’re unstoppable!”

 

“I guess.”

 

Mabel sat on the bed next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

 

“So you wanna tell me what happened?”

 

“It was just a bad dream.”

 

“What was it about?”

 

Dipper yawned and smiled.

 

“Grunkle Stan taking a shower.”

 

“Ew! Why would you put that image in my mind?!”

 

Mabel stuck her tongue out in disgust and shook her head, she then proceeded to pull the hair out of her braces, which had gotten stuck there when she shook her head.

 

Dipper laughed.

 

“You asked what my dream was about.”

 

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have told me! I’m going back to bed you weirdo.”

 

She stuck her tongue out at him, and he returned the gesture. They both laughed, and then Mabel crawled back in her bed, and Dipper laid back down smiling to himself.

 

“Goodnight Mabel.”

 

“Goodnight Dipper.”


	2. 2

Dipper woke up the next morning shaking. He wasn’t sure why, he was just shaking. Maybe it was the anxiety he had for what he was about to do. Even though Dipper had been in a good mood when he went back to sleep last night, he was not in a good mood this particular morning.

 

Dipper changed out of his bloody pyjama hoodie, and into his (new) usual clothes. He went downstairs to see what Grunkle Stan was making for breakfast. There was french toast on the table, and Mabel was already adding glitter, sprinkles, and whatever else to her plate. Stan placed a glass of orange juice in front of Dipper, who reached out to grab it with shaking hands. Stan looked at the kid.

 

“What? Are you cold or somethin’?”

 

Dipped nodded.

 

“Yeah, just a little.”

 

“Huh. You’re strange sometimes.”

 

Dipper laughed awkwardly.

 

As soon as breakfast was done, Dipper took Mabel out into the woods. Bill had told Dipper last night that he could tell Mabel everything, just so that Dipper wouldn’t go insane and throw himself off the water tower or something. No, that was Bill’s job, but Bill wasn’t quite done with his new toy yet.

 

Dipper led Mabel as deep into the woods as they could go without getting lost, and then checked the surroundings about ten times to make sure no one else was around. Mabel seemed confused.

 

“What’s this all about Dipper?”

 

Dipper put his hands on her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes.

 

“What I am about to tell you, you cannot tell anyone else, ever, under any circumstances, even if I tell you to. Our lives quite literally depend on it.”

 

Mabel nodded and Dipper took a deep breath before speaking.

 

“Bill is still inside my head.”

 

“What? Dipper that’s crazy. We kicked him out, remember?”

 

“Yeah, but I made a deal with him, remember? So Bill can access my mind and body. He told me I could tell you, but if anyone else finds out, everyone we care about will die.”

 

“Can’t you just cancel the deal?”

 

“You think I haven’t tried that?”

 

Mabel grabbed a hold of Dipper’s arms.

 

“There as to be a way to fix this.”

 

Dipper grimaced as her grasp grew tight the more she thought about possible solutions.

 

“Ow.  _ Ow.  _ **_Ow._ ** ”

 

Dipper tried to make it obvious she was hurting him.

 

“Mabel. Mabel!”

 

Mabel snapped back to reality. She looked at the arm he was struggling most to get free, his right arm. She loosened her grip and gently pulled the arm towards her, rolling his sleeve up. She stared in shock at Dipper’s arm and looked up at him with concern. 

 

“Who did this?”

 

Her tone was soft and gentle, it was unlike her to speak that way, but this was one of three very delicate situations. One, someone was hurting Dipper, like Stan (who would never do such a thing) or Robbie (who can be mean, but surely not that horrible). Two, Bill did this to him, either in Dipper’s body or not. Three, Dipper did this to himself.

 

Dipper hesitated.

 

“Mostly Bill.”

 

“Mostly? Who else?”

 

“Myself.”

 

“Which ones?”

 

Dipper pointed to three scars near the bottom of his forearm.

 

“Dipper…”

 

“I only did it once, just to see how it felt, to try to understand why Bill liked it so much.”

 

“Did  _ you _ like it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then why are there three scars?”

 

“I was just looking for something, anything, the slightest sensation that explained why Bill did it. But it starting hurting too much, so I stopped after three.”

 

Mabel cupped his face.

 

“You are very brave, there are people who can’t just stop like that. I'm glad you did. Don’t ever do that again, I hate to see you hurting. We’re gonna figure out how to stop Bill so you can stop hurting all together. No more nightmares, no more cuts, bruises, or even scrapes, no more crying in the early hours of the morning, no more shaky hands, just you and me, Mystery Twins™ forever!”

 

“How did you know about the nightmares?”

 

“You wake up in a panic and then cry every night since my puppet show. I knew something was up, I just didn’t have the courage to ask about it until last night. It was getting annoying, you kept waking me up.”

 

She laughed and booped his nose.

 

“I love you to pieces, little brother.”

 

“We’re the same age.”

 

“Yeah but I’m taller.”

 

“Whatever, let’s just go back to the Mystery Shack before Stan starts wondering where we are.”


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dipper and Mabel walked through the woods, neither of them spoke, and the only sound between them was the crunching of sticks and leaves underneath their feet.

 

It was strange, they were only twelve, and yet, they seemed to understand so much more than they should. Well, Mabel acted a bit more her age, and maybe even less it. Dipper though, he displayed it, trying to prove he was mature so people would stop telling him he was “too young” to know things. Little did they know, he knew more than they ever would. He wasn’t Einstein or anything, but he felt and fought emotions far more complex than any math equation.

 

Dipper was lost in thought when he heard a voice, it was familiar. It was whispering in his ears and surrounding him, he felt like he was going to suffocate, everything around him started to morph, and all he saw was eyes, everywhere, ugly, horrible, cat-like eyes. Dipper wanted to scream, but nothing came out. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was Mabel, but she too was wearing those terrible, cat-like eyes. She was calling his name but her words were twisted. Then she left. Dipper felt his face get hot and his eyes got watery. He didn’t want to be left alone, no matter who he was with.

 

A couple of minutes later Mabel came back with someone else, they where taller than her. Dipper heard them mumbling to eachother but he couldn't make out the words. Suddenly Mabel was crouched in front of him, which was strange because he didn’t remember sitting down.

 

“Dipper, can you hear me?”

 

Dipper nodded.

 

“Ok, just breath deeply, count in threes with me, okay?”

 

Dipper nodded again, and they started counting together.

 

“3, 6, 9, 12…”

“3, 6, 9, 12…”

 

Eventually, Dipper calmed down. He stood up, wiping his eyes, and looked behind Mabel to see…

 

“Wendy!?”

 

“Hey, Dipper.”

 

“I- um- uh…”

 

Dipper stumbled over his own words. Wendy had seen him in one of his weakest moments.

 

_ This is absolutely humiliating. _

 

Dipper probably would’ve had another panic attack (or whatever that was) if Wendy wasn't right there. Still, he felt himself slipping into one anyway. Wendy stepped toward him.

 

“Hey, don't worry about it, it's cool, I get panic attacks too sometimes, and with the way you live, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened sooner.”

 

“The way I live?”

 

“Yeah man, you're more on edge than like, anyone else I know. You're like a rubberband, you can only stretch so far before you snap, and you spend most of your time wound up pretty tight little Dipper. I’d say you're officially ready for high school though.”

 

She laughed and pat his head, further messying his hair under his hat, and tilting his hat to the left.

 

Dipper gave her an awkward and unsure laugh, and then turned to Mabel.

 

“Thanks for calming me down, Mabel.”

 

“No problem, but you should really thank Wendy, she told me what to do.”

 

“Oh, um, thanks to both of you then, I guess.”

 

More awkward laughter.

 

Wendy gave him a smile and left shortly after, saying something about Stan and the threat of a shorter lunch break for slacking off at work. 

  
Mabel and Dipper just stood in silence for a while, giving eachother knowing looks about what  _ really  _ happened.


End file.
